Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
