My liver just broke up with me...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
