Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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