Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
