Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
