So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
