Small penises have feelings too.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
someone owes me an orgasm
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then my night got REAL pukey
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize