what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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