she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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