why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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