Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
