Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
