So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
