I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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