Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
