It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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