What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
