Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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