guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
