so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i now understand why vodka
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
