I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
