cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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