I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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