Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
