lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
