i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
