She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
