I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
