you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
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