if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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