no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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