This girl is more easily done than said...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
