Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
