she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
