I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
your room smells of hookers.
And success
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
