the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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