like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
