Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
