i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
