in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sorry about my life...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
