i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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