i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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