I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
