I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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