singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
