Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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