so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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