it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
