Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
