We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
