What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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