You smell like stripper and shame
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize