Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize