she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
