I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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