We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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