You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
