I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
