so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
