He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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