If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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