Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
