i barfeds in our rink
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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