So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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