I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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