They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
