Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
BRING THE BAGELS
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
